I Held Onto Him Tightly And Would Not Let Him Go!

 
“All night long on my bed I longed for my lover. I longed for him but he never appeared. “I will arise and look all around throughout the town, and throughout the streets and squares; I will search for my beloved.” I searched for him but I did not find him. The night watchmen found me—the ones who guard the city walls. “Have you seen my beloved?” Scarcely had I passed them by when I found my beloved! I held onto him tightly and would not let him go until I brought him to my mother’s house, to the bedroom chamber of the one who conceived me. I admonish you, O maidens of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and by the young does of the open fields: “Do not awaken or arouse love until it pleases!’” Song of Solomon 3:1-5 NET

As a brief overview, “Song of Solomon” is a beautifully woven love story that centers around two distinctly different individuals: a wealthy, strikingly handsome man portrayed in the text as altogether lovely, and a humble, plain-looking young girl, emblematic of innocence and resilience. He embodies the persona of a sophisticated city man, adorned with riches and stature, while she represents the essence of a country girl—simple, earnest, and often overlooked. Her life tells the story of someone who has faced hardships, was raised in a family that struggles to make ends meet, and is living in the shadows of society’s gaze.

This dramatic contrast between them is deeply symbolic and resonates profoundly with me. The man is a magnificent reflection of our Bridegroom, the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God. We can see ourselves much like that unassuming girl—one who has been enveloped in grace and welcomed into the warmth of the New Testament Church. She is a powerful illustration, a type and shadow of someone who may not meet the world’s beauty standards—she is unrefined, modest, yet carries an inner strength that shines through her simplicity.

You might ask, “Did a wealthy, influential man truly fall in love with someone like her?” The answer is undoubtedly yes! This compelling love story is woven into the very fabric of “Song of Solomon,” capturing the essence of divine grace and unconditional love from our almighty God. I believe this man is Solomon, which is precisely why the work is called the “Song of Solomon.”

One beautiful day, Solomon rode through the sun-drenched valleys, surrounded by the vibrant colors of blooming vineyards, and saw that young lady in the distance. She was a picture of earnest toil, with her sunburned skin telling tales of labor under the sun’s hot glow. Her hair was disheveled, and her clothes worn, but her spirit was unwavering. She was diligently tending to her family’s vineyards, unaware that her life was about to change forever. In that fleeting moment, as their eyes met across the expanse, it was love at first sight—a powerful connection that transcended their worlds.

Can you remember the moment when you first realized that Jesus loved you with a depth so profound that He gave His life for your salvation? That pivotal day when you felt the weight of His grace washing over you? It was a sacred moment, brimming with hope, love, and the promise of redemption, forever etched in your heart!

The book artfully explores a love story that unfolds through captivating cycles of intimacy and separation. The two main characters are irresistibly drawn to each other, sharing cherished moments filled with laughter, vulnerable conversations, and the warmth of mutual understanding. Whether they’re enjoying dinners that linger long into the night or spontaneous adventures that spark joy, these instances forge a deep emotional connection that feels almost unbreakable.

However, just as their bond seems to flourish, the unpredictability of life intervenes, causing them to drift apart. The reasons for their separation are rich and complex. She often wrestles with an internal dialogue of guilt and self-doubt, pondering whether her choices have inadvertently led to this distance. Meanwhile, He grapples with the belief that stepping back from their union might be essential for her personal growth, enabling them to gain clarity and strength in their relationship. His demanding career, with its late nights and unforeseen obligations, frequently pulls him away, making the world outside their love reality feel all too real.

This pattern—a rhythmic dance of closeness and separation—creates a poignant emotional landscape, filled with longing and hope.

In a broader sense, this cycle resonates all too deeply with the spiritual journey many people undertake in their Christian lives. You may agree or disagree with this perspective, but it reflects an undeniable truth for many. There are moments when we sense an overwhelming closeness to Jesus, where His presence envelops us like a warm embrace, filling our spirit with peace, joy, and a sense of purpose. Yet, during challenging times—marked by doubt, struggle, and introspection—we can sometimes sense a withdrawal, as if He has stepped just beyond our reach, leaving us to navigate the tumult of our feelings alone.

If you haven’t encountered this ebb and flow in your own spiritual path, it may be worth honestly delving into the question for yourself; you could uncover either a hesitance to face the truth about your experiences with Jesus, or perhaps a spiritual struggle that clouds your perception of the profound dynamics of closeness and separation in your faith journey.

We now find ourselves immersed in chapter three, verses one through five, where we encounter a decisive moment of longing and separation. The passage begins with a striking declaration: “All night long on my bed I longed for my lover.” Some commentators suggest this scene might merely be a dream; however, the narrative does not indicate any such interpretation. Instead, it vividly portrays a deep longing: “All night long on my bed.” One can easily envision the darkness surrounding her as she suddenly awakens, startled and scanning her surroundings, her heart racing at the thought that her beloved might still be with her. Having grown accustomed to His gentle, comforting presence, His absence strikes a deep chord within her, intensifying her yearning.

“I longed for my lover.” The Hebrew verb used here is rooted in the ‘piel’ form, which conveys not just desire but an all-consuming pursuit, characterized by earnestness and emotional intensity. It evokes an image of passionate searching, a heartfelt quest for connection. This Woman, symbolizing the Church in its most ideal state, embarks on an earnest journey to find her beloved. She pours all her strength and utmost fervor into her search, yet she finds herself in the painful silence of unfulfilled longing.

I have encountered many believers who struggle with the lack of God’s presence in their lives. It is not a question of the authenticity of their faith, but rather a lack of engagement in the spiritual disciplines that nurture their relationship with Him—fellowship, prayer, and meditation in God’s Word. For these individuals, days can feel monotonous, filled with pleas for blessings without a clear awareness that their prayers are even being heard. In contrast, this young Woman recognizes that her beloved has purposely distanced Himself. 

She anguishes, “All night long I sought out my lover,” yet her efforts yield no fruit. This mirrors the plight of King Saul, who, following his disobedience to God, desperately searched for divine guidance but was met with a soul-crushing silence. Similarly, Job, despite his steadfast integrity and unwavering faith amid suffering, cried out in grief, yearning for God’s presence, feeling utterly forsaken. Yet Job did not surrender to despair; he remained steadfast in his pursuit, ultimately receiving an inspiring reply from God that emerged from the midst of a whirlwind.

As I ponder my spiritual journey, do I wrestle with the depth of my longing for Jesus? Am I to grieve His absence when His presence seems distant? Do I gather in worship without experiencing the vibrant joy of His Spirit? I would say yes to all of these. 

The Shulamite girl declares, “I longed for Him, but He never appeared,” which embodies the universal struggle of countless believers during the spiritual dry spells we encounter. Some interpretations suggest the Woman is at fault for this separation, implying that she must have done or said something to drive Him away. However, I perceive her yearning as undeserving of blame; she merely awakens—a solitary figure in a vast, quiet room—and finds her beloved absent.

This remarkable scene exemplifies the times when Jesus chooses to withdraw from us. Sometimes, His presence envelops us, sweet and palpable, infusing our souls with warmth and joy, while at other times, we experience a profound absence that leaves us yearning. Yet I hold firmly to the assurance that He remains ever-present. The hymn by E.J. Rollings, “Standing Somewhere in the Shadows,” poignantly captures this truth. The opening line of the chorus states, “Standing somewhere in the shadows, you’ll find Jesus; He’s the Friend who always cares and understands.”

I cherish the promise from Jesus: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” However, when I feel estranged from His closeness, I grapple with why the Lord permits this separation. The answer lies in the profound lesson that our experience of His presence transcends fleeting emotions; it’s not about our feelings but faith. He teaches us that our connection with Him does not solely hinge on the sweetness of the moment, but stands firm even in seasons of silence and distance. He remains God, whether our prayers are met with bounteous answers or seem to bounce against an unseen glass barrier in heaven. His essence does not sway; He is the same in moments when the Scriptures blaze like jewels before our eyes, and when we struggle with a bible passage over days, weeks, or even years.

I believe He deliberately withdraws at times to provoke our pursuit of Him, to cultivate humility deep within our hearts. Proverbs 25:2 eloquently states, “It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.” This divine concealment serves a higher purpose: to reveal the truth about ourselves and our inherent dependency in trusting in Him, by standing in faith that His promises are true and that He loves us regardless of whether we sense His presence or not, He is always with us, and is sometimes in the shadows. It unveils the reality that we cannot navigate this life without Him, stirring within us a fervent desire to seek Him with all our hearts and nurturing our capacity to love Him and others in the profound ways we are called.

I deeply admire this young lady; she exemplifies an extraordinary spirit of determination and faith that many of us often struggle to embody. When she proclaims, “I will arise,” it captures her refusal to be ensnared by the comforts of inertia. While others might succumb to the temptation of staying in bed, cocooned in lethargy and doubt, she stands resolute. Though her beloved is absent, she cherishes His presence within her heart and is committed to pursuing Him fervently, refusing to abandon the hope of His return. Her tenacity resonates as a heartfelt plea, much like us when we need the Lord to be present in our lives, like so many hymns that have been written in the past: ‘O Lord, revive us.’ ‘O Lord, would You pass by us once again, allowing Your gentle grace to wash over us.’ ‘O Lord, I need You every hour; do not pass me by, dear Savior.’

With an unwavering resolve, she declares, “I will arise and look all around throughout the town, and throughout the streets and squares; I will search for my beloved.” Her quest is not a mere stroll but a passionate journey searching through the vibrant hustle and bustle of the broad streets, where she actively longs for the one her soul deeply adores. The Hebrew term for “seek” is an intensified verb, ‘piel,’ laden with urgency and longing; it conveys not just a search, but a heartfelt desperation, as if she is begging for His presence. He is indispensable to her existence; she needs Him more than life itself, surpassing all other desires.

This sentiment echoes in the words of the Apostle Paul, who boldly stated in Philippians 1:21, “For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain.” This prompts a moment of introspection: Are we truly at peace with going a day devoid of the sweet communion with Jesus that our spirit longs for? Jesus underscores the significance of this connection in John 15:5, declaring, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him bears much fruit; for apart from me, you can do nothing.” Abiding in Jesus is the essence of a fruitful life; through this profound and loving relationship, we discover sweetness, strength, and an intricate interconnection with God.

As she earnestly exclaims, “I will search for my beloved... I searched for him, but I did not find him,” we witness the remarkable testament of this young girl. Her unwavering commitment shines through as she diligently continues her pursuit of her beloved, even when He seems elusive. This relentless searching is not a mark of defeat but a testament to her intensified yearning for His presence—a longing that propels her forward with unshakeable faith and hope. Her journey serves as a reminder of the depths of love and devotion that can flourish in our relationship with Jesus, encouraging us to seek Him relentlessly in all the corners of our lives.

“The night watchmen found me—the ones who guard the city walls.” In her earnest search, she did not encounter her Bridegroom, but the watchful night guards did discover her, wandering through the quiet alleys illuminated only by the pale glow of moonlight. There exists a powerful passage in the Song of Solomon where the night watchmen confront her, treating her with cruelty and even beating her and inflicting pain. We will delve into that verse later in chapter five. However, the night watchmen find her and approach her at this point in time with a sense of concern rather than harm.

As they peer into the shadows, they observe this young lady stepping cautiously through the night, her heart trembling with hope and vulnerability. The risks she has taken are palpable—a striking image of the Church courageously seeking her Savior, in stark contrast to many believers who hesitate to step outside their comfort zones. Too often, we term ourselves too busy or distracted to devote even a few hours to immersing ourselves in Scripture or prioritizing sustained prayer, which would help deepen our communion with God. Yet this young Woman stands apart; her determination drives her onward.

Listen closely to her heartfelt question to the night watchmen: “Have you seen my beloved?” She does not utter “King Solomon,” nor speak of a “well-dressed prince adorned with a gleaming crown, riding a magnificent steed.” She entirely bypasses ceremonial titles and refrains from asking, “Have you seen my Bridegroom?” Instead, with a voice rich with longing and intimacy, she implores, “Have you seen my Beloved?” The English Standard Version (ESV) beautifully expands this inquiry: “Have you seen Him whom my soul loves?” To her, He is the sole object of her affection, unrivaled and unmatched. In her plea, she offers no name to the night watchmen; she simply desires to know, “Have you seen my Beloved?”

This passionate yearning brings to mind the moment Mary Magdalene returned to Jesus’ tomb, her heart heavy after the disciples had scattered in fear. Upon discovering the stone sealing the tomb had been rolled away, “But Mary stood outside the tomb weeping. As she wept, she bent down and looked into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white sitting where Jesus’ body had been lying, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” Mary replied, “They have taken my Lord away, and I do not know where they have put him!” When she said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know it was Jesus.

Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Who are you looking for?” Because she thought he was the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will take him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni” (which means Teacher).” John 20:11-16.

I find no need to enroll in academic courses on comparative religions or to adopt varying philosophies on beliefs or doctrines, because I know Him, and for me, there exists no other. Through Him, all of humanity must pursue salvation. I know Him who embodies the way, the truth, and the life. Have you seen Him, my Beloved?

“Scarcely had I passed them by when I found my beloved!” This statement captures a moment steeped in longing, illustrating that her Beloved is acutely aware of her presence, much like Jesus is mindful of our paths and struggles. He knows she is diligently searching for Him, yet He purposefully holds back, choosing not to reveal Himself while she remains in the company of the night watchmen. His deliberate waiting enhances the intensity of her pursuit. When she steps away, she joyfully declares, “I found Him whom my soul loves.” In this context, the Hebrew word for ‘found’ is ‘matsa,’ which carries deeper meanings—such as encountering unexpectedly, appearing, or descending into her life like a refreshing rain after a long drought.

Can you reflect on a moment when you deeply felt the need for Jesus, and He suddenly made His presence known in your life? Perhaps there were days filled with discouragement where it seemed like the weight of the world was pressing down, and then, in an unexpected moment, Jesus appeared, like a warm light piercing through the fog of despair. During times of profound loneliness, He came to offer comfort, wrapping you in His love like a soft, warm blanket on a cold night. There were occasions of spiritual turmoil when He uplifted your spirit and provided refuge, revealing Himself as your anchor and strength in remarkable, incomprehensible ways. I am profoundly grateful for a Savior who can always be found. As articulated in Matthew 7:7, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.” To genuinely seek Jesus requires sincerity and openness; one must be willing to embrace the vulnerability of being found by Him.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied” (Matthew 5:6). This verse beautifully encapsulates the essence of seeking the Lord; those who fervently pursue Him will find their hearts filled with peace and fulfillment. The narrative shifts as she boldly states, “I held onto Him tightly and would not let Him go.” This phrase embodies a sense of urgency and desperation, invoking images of grasping onto something precious—a fierce determination to cling to His presence that signifies unwavering commitment. While I recognize the theological truth that my salvation is not contingent upon my grip on Jesus but instead on His loving embrace of me, I find immense joy in cultivating a deep, personal relationship with Him.

Our moments of communion are beautifully rich; I have discovered Him, and together we explore the profound depths of His love. As expressed in Psalm 19:10, “More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.” This elegantly articulates my passion for holding onto Him, and I am determined never to let go.

The biblical narrative includes the gripping story of Jacob: “So Jacob was left alone. Then a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he could not defeat Jacob, he struck the socket of his hip, so the socket of Jacob’s hip was dislocated while he wrestled with him. Then the man said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking.” “I will not let you go,” Jacob replied, unless you bless me.”  (Genesis 32:24-26). This scene exemplifies the beauty of wrestling with God—an acknowledgment that sometimes our most intense struggles can lead to profound blessings. We should cherish those sacred encounters with the Lord, relishing His presence and making the conscious decision to hold fast to Him at all costs.

The phrase, “Until I brought him to my mother’s house, to the bedroom chamber of the one who conceived me,” holds rich imagery. It evokes a sense of deep familial love and connection, bringing to mind traditions of hospitality that honor sacred spaces. This language recalls when Abraham’s servant sought a bride for Isaac, symbolizing the beauty of commitment and nurturing relationships. “Then Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother Sarah’s tent (house). He took her as his wife and loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death” (Genesis 24:67). Similarly, in the book of Ruth, devotion and loyalty resonate through the relationships of Naomi, Ruth, and Orpah. “Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Listen to me! Each of you should return to your mother’s home. May the Lord show you the same kind of devotion that you have shown to your deceased husbands and to me.” (Ruth 1:8). This imagery of nurturing love encapsulates the themes of weddings, marriages, and the continuity of love across generations.

Have you ever considered extending an invitation to Jesus, inviting Him into the intimate corners of your home and heart? Paul beautifully expresses this in Colossians 3:16, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and exhorting one another with all wisdom, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, all with grace in your hearts to God.” By embracing the Word of God in your home, you welcome Jesus to reign over your mind, will, emotions, and soul. In chapter one, we saw the Bridegroom inviting her into His chambers, where moments of profound intimacy and connection unfold. Comparatively, He prepares a dwelling place for us in the Father’s house, beckoning us into His chambers with open arms. She longs, “I have been to your chambers; now I want to invite you to the chambers at my house.” This invitation is not merely a gesture; it represents a heartfelt desire to share sacred experiences and forge deeper connections.

Ultimately, we learn to love Him by reflecting on how He loves us. He has shown us kindness, revealing that true love is inherently kind. His unwavering faithfulness teaches us that love is faithful through trials and tribulations, steadfast and reliable. He has been sacrificial in His love, demonstrating that authentic love requires sacrificial selflessness and generosity. He invites us to embody those same qualities in our relationships with others.

In verse five, there is a significant repetitive refrain that resonates deeply: “I admonish you, O maidens of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and by the young does of the open fields: ‘Do not awaken or arouse love until it pleases!’” The maidens of Jerusalem, often referred to as the Daughters of Jerusalem, were likely young virgins, characterized by their radiant, fair skin and arising from affluent families. They were captivated by the wisdom and grandeur of Solomon, eagerly yearning to unravel the mysteries surrounding His persona and teachings.

Embarking on the journey of understanding and loving Him is essential. It is a profound desire of mine to not only love Him wholeheartedly but also to delve into the depths of His nature and work. The vow made to these maidens—drawing parallels to “the gazelles and young roes of the field”—creates vivid imagery of these elegant, swift-footed creatures, symbols of purity and grace. These beautiful animals serve as types and shadows of our Lord Jesus, connecting Him to the natural world and illustrating the profound beauty of divine love.

One particularly striking aspect of deer is their absence of a gall bladder, which symbolizes an existence free from bitterness and resentment. Jesus exemplifies this purity, embodying a heart devoid of gall or bitterness. We, too, are called to embrace this emotional and spiritual clarity, ensuring that no root of resentment can take hold within us, capable of defiling us.

The gentle admonition not to rouse Him highlights the sacredness of love; we are urged to approach this precious gift with reverence and humility. This love is not to be trifled with or impulsively stirred; it is a delicate bond that should unfold in its own time. For new believers, that intense closeness may not be immediately accessible; instead, it develops gradually through deliberate investiture in a relationship with Jesus—a journey enriched by His abiding presence within us and His Word nurturing our hearts with vibrant hope in His divine promises.

The experience of being in Christ is nothing short of extraordinary, enveloping us in a sweetness and palpable joy that defies description. If you yearn for such intimacy but have yet to experience it, I urge you to practice patience. Resist the temptation to rush the process; instead, await His perfect timing, when He gently reveals that “it’s time.”

When that moment finally arrives, immerse yourself in the richness of God’s Word, cultivate a spirit of heartfelt prayer, and engage actively within your faith community. It is through this steadfast commitment—guided by His divine love unfolding at His appointed hour—that He will awaken love within you, stirring your heart with a tender assurance and showering you with a sweetness that transcends all understanding and expectation.

Stephen Barnett