Children Obey your Parents...

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:1-4 ESV

There is more to these four verses than we can discern from a surface reading; underlying principles are being taught here that are crucial to the believer. For example, in the word ‘Children,’ God always refers to us as children, not because we are small in stature or lack the maturity to become adults, but because He sees us as His creation, His family, originally designed and created in His image. The Greek word used for children is ‘teknon,’ which carries a deeper meaning in the context of our discussion. Definitions of teknon are these: teachers and the like employ: my child in the NT, pupils or disciples are called children of their teachers because the latter, by their instruction, nourish the minds of their pupils and mold their characters. Children of God: in the OT of “the people of Israel” as especially dear to God, in the NT, in Paul’s writings, all who the Spirit of God leads and thus closely related to God.

"Obey your parents in the Lord," Paul emphasizes the importance of children following their parents' guidance and instruction. As parents (as I am), it is our responsibility to raise our children in a manner that reflects positively on their character and demonstrates the love of the Lord for them. From the child’s perspective, they should see their parents as instruments of God, guiding them in ways that please the Lord. It is essential for children to obey their parents, regardless of their parent's faith or lack thereof, as long as it does not result in suffering abuse or engaging in morally wrong actions. This approach fosters a healthy and respectful family dynamic while honoring the role of parents in the lives of their children.

Obeying your parents teaches a child discernment. It helps them develop the ability to understand the consequences of their actions and choices. As children learn obedience, they come to understand the importance of obedience to the Lord as well. This understanding can lead to positive and affirming experiences with their heavenly Father. They can then experience tangible expressions of love, security, and guidance from their heavenly Father, providing them with a sense of comfort and direction in their lives.

“That it may go well with you.” The first part of the promise of obeying your parents is that life may go well with you; in other words, God’s favor rests upon you. It is always the pleasure of a parent to bless their children and give them things that form their character and make them grateful for their gifts. As parents, we are responsible for guiding our children towards obedience, helping them understand the importance of this virtue and the blessings it brings. However, all too often, a sense of entitlement robs the joy that comes with the gift. Children tend to become self-centered and lose their perspective of who they are in the Lord and the obedience required of them. Because the Lord loves us unconditionally, nothing we can do or say would cause the Lord to remove His love from us, which leaves a child with only one option: obedience. When children come to this understanding, they become secure in their relationship with the Lord. The Lord shows His favor to those He chooses to bless, namely those who have put their obedience on the top of their list of things they know the Lord requires.

The second part of the promise is “that we may live long in the land.” I find it fascinating that in the Star Trek TV series, the Vulcan greeting with the two fingers (which was known in the 1960s as the peace symbol) means “live long and prosper,” which is taken from this scripture passage. It is a commandment from Exodus 20:12, and Paul repurposes it here in Ephesians 6:1-4. The intent is that long life and favor of the Lord are the blessings of a child who honors their mother and father.

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger." In today's society, this advice is relevant to both mothers and fathers due to the prevalence of single-parent households. Avoid provoking children with harsh words, unjust or unreasonable demands, foul language, public shaming, indiscreet or passionate expressions of discipline, etc. These actions can cause a child to disassociate from the concept of discipline. It is when there is unresolved or unrepentant anger that it opens the door to Satan and leads to sin against God. Colossians 3:21 mirrors this same sentiment “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged”. When we consider our society, especially our Colleges and Universities that speak of a Godless world, this too can provoke “God’s children” to anger; many movies and news reports have detailed how academia has shifted away from God being our creator to the acceptance of an evolutionary concept that strips all meaning away from God’s influence upon our lives.

“But bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” As parents, we are inspired by our faith to instruct our children to understand heavenly things, set good examples, protect them from bad influences, pray with them, and take them to Church. Proverbs 22:6 states that if we“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” These are all important considerations, but let’s not forget that as parents, we are also the children of God. We are guiding our children not only in this world but also in their spiritual journey. The examples we set model the path for our lives and their lives. That’s why God refers to all of us as children. Faith is about believing loyalty and putting our beliefs into action by living out our faith in practical ways. It’s about demonstrating what we believe so that others, including our children, can witness Jesus through our actions, not just our words, That they may see with confidence that God's blessings will follow them too.

Stephen Barnett